Unbecoming

unbecoming

I think you can try on some pretty unbecoming versions of yourself before you find who you truly are.  I also think that some people never shuck all of their unbecoming layers…

It was an irritating day.  Just saying…

In all seriousness, though,

The second half of this year, I’m going to focus on unbecoming.  I’m ready to throw off some of the ideas of myself that I’ve (almost rabidly) clung to and see what’s underneath.  Some of those ideas I’ve carried with me since childhood, since being a teenager in love with a boy, since being a young professional in a promising career with unlimited potential, since leaving a devastated home town and beginning again.  Some of them I’ve cultivated in the last few years, or even the last few months: ideas of who I am as a “matured” professional, a friend, a wife…

It always comes back to the hounds, too.  I have two beautiful souls that are capable of so much adventure.  Both of them have individual strengths that lend themselves to competitive dog sports.  Sarah is a whiz at agility and obedience (as long as there are treats involved).  Captain is 3 single points shy of his Championship Title in Conformation!  And we’re finishing up our prep classes for his Canine Good Citizen title.  We’ll have that done by the end of the summer.  The challenge is this… I’m so nervous in the show ring.  I don’t know why.  It should be a fun experience, a display of the partnership between me and my sweet puppy dog.  So that’s my goal.  Before the end of the year, I want to successfully show the Captain and finish his Championship.  I want to do it for him, because he’s worthy.  For his breeder, who we love and miss and honor every day.  But also for me, because I need to unbecome nervous and afraid of judgement. In the show ring and in my own life.

I want to become more like my hound dog.  Generous of spirit, kind, loyal and loving. And, worthy of success.

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